Cheerleading is an art NOT A Sport!

My niece Lindsay is the capatin of her cheer team. ( She is the redhead peeking out from the curtain on the far left hand side of the picture of the three girls and the girl dancing in the back) Our family is very sports oriented so imagine the ribbing she gets ( from me especially) that she has chosen cheerleading as a winter sport.

Now before people yell at me, I must say this. Cheerleading is not what it used to be. You don't just jump around and scream. Lindsay takes gymnastic classes and practices dance everyday. However I question the sport part of it when I hear this. The following is the exchange I heard the other day at one of her "competitions"...( I am really worried that so and so other team might beat us becasue they had sparkles on their eyes and we didn't. Plus their hair ribbons are bigger. )

What?

Okay when I played field hockey or was skiing racing I was more likely to hear this exchange ( so and so might have an edge over us today becasue I am playing with a broken limb and she is not). That said, I think Cheerleading should be considered a "performance art." It's dance plain and simple. I have said this to others and they in turn ask me that since I coach Synchronized swimming ( Eighteen and up team pictured above, at Nationals two years ago) that that should be considered a proformance art also. I agree. Synchronized swimming combines the endurance and athletisism of speedswimming but artistry of an actress. I have a background in both which is why I like to coach it. An while we do spend alot of time focusing on costume, song, and the storytelling of the piece or performance. We also spend hours in the weightroom and swim miles of laps a week.

Okay, so maybe both are performance arts. So Lindsay, I'm proud of you as I am am proud of my swimmers. Here are their pictures (AND NO, THEY ARE NOT TOUCHING THE BOTTOM OF THE POOL!)

Why I Couldn't Be A Teacher

Actually I was a gym teacher for three years before I got married, but I really was not your everyday goody goody sweetheart of a teacher. For example, agressive play is supposed to be discouraged but when we played floor hockey, I was okay with the slashing as long as it wasn't in the face, hooking was just plain funny and boarding, well, acceptable if the player in question asked for it.

I am also of the old school "If Someone hits you, hit them back." The new lingo is "Use your words" which is fine if you mean "Instead of grunting and pointing, say, pass me the crayon." But if someone smacks my kid in the face, I want then to smack them back harder. If they must use their words, they can say after "Hows that feel, sucker!"

My own kids are well manered. I teach them respect however I don't believe in respecting your elders just becasue they are old. I don't care if you are eighty or eight, if you are not a nice person, I what my kids to feel like they can tell you to go to hell if they need to.

Okay, so I am getting to my point. My family has always told our kids. "Biting is the worst thing another kid can do to you. Whatever you can do to prevent it, do so." So my five year old was at school and some other kid tried to bite him. He did what he was told and knocked the little vampire over the head witha Tonka Truck. My son got away unscathed but the other kid has a gash on his forehead. Served him right. I think.

So I get to school and my son runs up to me and relays the story all smiles and I tell him how proud I am of him. The teacher then comes over to tell me how in the future my son must "use his words". I told her that I dissagreed and I had a few words of my own for her. ( I know what those who know me well are thinking. I kept my hands to myself.)

What is my my son going to say? "Please stupid fellow classmate, but do not take a bite out of my arm." I can not see a converstaion working in this case. Self defense was nessasary.

I find that most Dads agree with me but lots of women don't. Although I have to say on my own behalf I'm not your everyday woman either. I'm strange and I see the world how I see it. My husband calls it DaniLand where I am the sole ruler. Dylan is the Treasurer.

Anyway, I have rambled. I'm off to sign my kids up for Boxing!

Pillow Fighting is NOT a Sport!

Okay so I was surfing the web this morning because I was procrastinating and there was a story on Yahoo that New York City will be hosting the World Pillow Fight championships and it will be televisied on one of the ESPNs.

What!

I used to coach a nationally ranked Synchronized Swim team and we always complained that our sport was NEVER televisied. Even nationals and we are an Olympic sport. ESPN shows the World Eating Chapionships ( which I think I could contend in by the way when I am PMSing) Tournament Checkers, and Spelling Bee ( Please tell me where the strategy is in that? You spell it right or wrong then sit down.) Synchronized Swimming requires the endurance and athletisim of a distance swimmer, and the showmanship of a performer. Plus I bet the guys would dig their skimpy bathing suits. Why does ESPN not show it!

Back to the pillow fighting. I get that it is a competition and that I quess its like boxing. But what is next. National Leapfrong Competition?

I have to say I am glad they recognized sports like Dodgeball now. As a gym teacher I loved dodgeball day becasue the game was self-sustaining, and the kids always participated. Low matience day at work. Plus it was fun to watch the kids beat the crap out of each other ( I was not your normal goodie-goodie teacher) I can only imagine how much fun they would have had with pillow fights. Maybe thats the key to healing todays youth. The hell with couseling and handholding with emotially screwed up kids. Give them a pillow and some misguided hostility and you have a pillow fighting champion.

By the way, I can say this stuff because I worked in the inner city. Once you have kids that miss class becasue they had to attend their own arraignement for armed robery you earned the right to joke. ( AND THAT WAS ONLY A MIDDLESCHOOLER! )

So I rambled. Sue Me!

Cakes

I Need To Get Out More

I am a stay-at-home mom to two small boys (five and two) and some days I think I might be losing my mind. I can not tell you how many times a week I hear myself say "Get Your finger out of your nose" or "Its not nice to play with that in front of others" or one of my frequent favorites "Don't hit your brother with that or else were all going to the hospital." Don't get me wrong I love my job, (and if any of your ultra liberal feminists are reading this, yes mothering is a job) and I wouldn't give it up for anything. Sometimes I question my abilities, but like my mom says. "They're still alive so you you must be doing something right." Thank God for my mom.

Anyway, if even I most days I forget to brush the back of my hair and I am wearing two different pairs of sock. I have a good time. I have the pictures to prove it. The one posted below is me in one of my finer moments last fall that my husband was moved to document.

Something to remember me by when he ships me off to the mental ward.

I'm a Fly Girl!

Just wanted to let you guys know that starting this week I will be joing my three girlfriends on a joint blog. Its called the Fly Girls. We did not name us, by the way. The name was given to us when we were at The New Jersey Conference together and our dancing and kerioke skills earned us dollarbills in our underwear. (Sorry mom) Anyway, we are all writers and are going to document our journey. No holds barred!

Shudder.

Anyway, stop on by and check us out. Jen already started us out and we will all take turns to post. I am very excited. Oh yeah, and we are also colaborating on a screenplay so that will be mildly entertaining. Yeah Fly Girls!

The Legend of Bue and Jean: Why I Love My BF

I have known my best friend since we were five. Kara and I went all the way through school together. She has been by my side my whole life, was in my wedding, is the God mother to my youngest son. We even lived together for a year. When I write woman characters in converstions with their close friends I always picture the conversation as if I were talking to Kara.
Except I make them coherent.
"Boo and Jean" are the alter ego names we call ourselves when we do something especially notable. For example, when we would play drunk golf or steal flowers for center pieces from other people's gardens, or break into to ex-boyfriend's house to steal beer. (Thank God she talked me out of "borrowing" the boat.) When we were in fifth grade we went to camp together and I made her bring her mini TV so I could watch my shows. It was confiscated. I still don't know if she ever got it back.
The things she does for me!
Jean covered when I would skip school and did my homework for classes I didn't even know I was taking. I accompanied her to her boyfriend's cottage one summer unnannounced and helped her break in when we saw another girl's clothes inside the window. We ended up hosting a party and the other girl was out of luck. The night ended in a epic game of Asshole, which is why we are wearing a lampshade and box in the picture.
We're assholes!
Now that we are grown ups we do grown up things. She is now a highly respected marketing director in Rochester and is sober 90% of the time. She is young, single and ready to mingle. We don't get to hand out much anymore as Assholes because I would feel bad for my kids if I got arrested. But we are still best friends. My husband even refers to her as his "Platonic Wife" and my kids sometimes slip and call her mommy. I love her to death and would not know what i would do without her!
Someone once said that if you can say that you lived your life with one good friend, than you lived a good one. All I know is Kara totally fits the bill. She deserves a book of her own. I would be sure to include the stories about her college boyfriend who named his car "Free Tibet" and how she ran over his lamp post in an effort to make a drunk getaway from his house. I could go on an on. Like I said, I could write a book. The Advetures of Boo and Jean!
We would have to change names to protect the innocent.

Help My TV Is Broken! Say a Novena!

Okay, so anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE TV. My big screen HD set is like my third child, and right now something is wrong with the picture tube. I am no eletrical engineer person or whoever is an expert in these type of things, and I don't know if a picture tube is even one of the parts in the thing. Either way it is broken and I am eagerly waiting between the hours of 11 and five for it to be fixed. The guy better hurry. All the good shows start back next week up after holiday break!

My fav shows currently on air are Bones, Ugly Betty and The Office. I am still holding out hope for Standoff on Fox. I also love classic TV. Old eighties sitcoms like Cosby Show and Family Ties. Growing Pains, Small Wonder...

Yeah, Small Wonder! ... Joke! Just wanted to see if you were still reading. But you do remember the show don't you?

My fave show of all times is Moonlighting but that deserves a post all its own. Roseanne is a respectable second. Funny, but the writing staff is esentially the same on both shows. The one show I haven't gotten around to watching is Veronica Mars. A very close friend of mine says that I remind her of her. Of course this is the same woman who after she saw Walk The Line she called me from the movie theater lobby on her way out to tell me that Reese Witherspoons portrayal June Carter Cash was a dead ringer for me. She still calls me Resse on occasion. ( I do however see myself in her character in "Freeway" a whole hell of alot.) Its on Cin on Demand right now. You should check it out.

Excuse my rambling.

So anyway, I will be TV less today. Maury will have to find unfortunate babies' Daddys without my support, and I'll miss round five million between Rosie and Donald Trump on The View. I guess I'll have to do something productive. Like maybe get some work done.
Or I could just watch DVD's on my computer.

New Years Resolutions!

So its 2007! I'm thrilled. Now I can make all those New Years Resolutions that I never keep so by March I can experince late-winter self doubt. Okay, so I'm not that manic, but I will say that this year I have resolved to make resolutions that I will enjoy keeping.

1) GAIN WEIGHT. In just the past month three people told me I look too thin. To those people THANK YOU- whether it was a complement or not. I digress as I reach for thr the Sun Chips.

2) WATCH MORE TV. I can not get enough of Ugly Betty and Office. Can Steve Carrel be any funnier? And of course Moonlighting season five on DVD has already been pre ordered.

3)PLAY MORE PRACTCAL JOKES ON MY HUSBAND A month ago I strolled into the house with a mangled back bumper and told him that I ran over the mailbox with his SUV that he had just driven home from the body shop and hour before. (Oh wait, that really happened AND it wasn't funny. Bad example.)

4) STOP BITING MY NAILS opps thats should be in the "2007 Pipe Dreams" Catagory. Sorry for the confusion.

5) LEARN TO DO THE LAUNDRY Did you know it was possible to shrink towels?

Thats all I've got. As you can see I don't expect much from myself. That way I am not dissapointed. Happy New Year All!