Those of your who know me know that I have a weird and warped way of looking at life. For me, I think everything is perfect. Great husband, great family, great health, great life in general. And becasue of this I think that there will be some sort of cosmic retribution for this at some point (what I like to call "waiting for the other shoe to drop") where Fate will even the score and I will be rewarded with my greatest fear. An illness that robs my cordination strength and basically all I value about myself.
Now, I am not so much a hyperchondrac rather I have decided that this is the worst possible thing that could happen to me so I am convinced I have it. A few months ago my head felt funny and instead of accepting the doctor's assessment of 'sinus problems" I was convinced this was some neorological illness settling in once and for all rendering me catatonic in a wheel chair. No more golf skiing, tennis or the multitue of sports that I play obsessively. My family would be miserable and I would be payed back for my lifetime of happiness.
I have told others that I would rather have anything else, especially something that either you treat it, get better or die than basically just suffereing for years and years.
Yeah, I know. Who thinks Danielle is crazy? Show of hands.
Wow. I feel better now that I have vented. Actually I think I just have seasonal affective disorder and need spring to come. Besides, sunshine contains vitimin D and vitimin D deficits are thought to be a cause of soem nerological diseases.
Okay, I'll shut up now.
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4 comments:
I think the same way, but I keep telling myself the first 18 years of my life was the other foot.
No sense worrying about something that may never happen.
I know, I know, I'm shutting up now;))
Miss you Cakes!!! Can't wait to see you in ...... 9 days!!!!
Girlfriend, you and I have ALOT in common. No, seriously... I have very similar thoughts ALL the time. And for all of his good intentions, my husband has basically convinced me that all of my "wierd feelings" are ALL in my head and are the results of me being inactive, overweight and out of shape.
so yeah, okay.... that "could" be part of it. But the more and more I dwell on things, the more I'm convincing myself that it's my bodies way of telling me I'm waaayyy too stressed out, and yes.. I'm not the active person I could be.
I know I need to make some physical changes, but in the mean time I think my mental health is more important than the physical.
does that make sense??
Oh, and I'm still waiting for your shit to read!
Ahem, I'm waiting to read her shit too!!! And ahem, I should be writing my own shit.....what the hell is wrong with me???
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