Gopher Grab A Booey! Man Overboard

What's with the recent epidemic of people falling off cruise ships? Is this a new problem or did it just happen to one guy and a couple others thought it would be cool to copy cat? To all these people I have a few questions I would like answered.
1) HOW? Or more exact, How DRUNK are you? I mean, I understand if you were tipsy. You're on a cruise, Issac tends to overserve and you enjoyed one too many umbrella drinks. But lets face it, it takes some amount of cordination to jump up on the railing and swan dive into the deep blue. Unless you pissed off Julie and Vicki and they pushed you, or you're one of Doc's disgruntled girlfriends.
2) HOW DUMB ARE YOU? In this question I am also referring to your friends. Did they encourage this? If this is the case, get new friends. Or at least don't listen when they want you to reinact the"King of The World" scene in Titanic.
3) HOW PISSED WAS EVERYONE WHEN THEY TURNED AROUND TO GET YOU? Not that I am a great waterskier, but I remember how annoying it was to drop some stupid skier who tripped over the wake and have to go back and retreive them. This person fell off a floating city. If I were the spotter I would say "fuck it" and let him swim his ass to shore.

But maybe falling of a cruise ship is tramatizing. Especially if you can't swim and even more so if you are appetizing to sea life. I however am not sympathetic. My advice to them is this: Keep your ass on the Lido deck and take in a Charo show. No one cares if you drown.